Funerals fill an important role for those mourning the loss of a loved one. By providing surviving family members and friends a caring, supportive environment in which to share thoughts and feelings about the death, funerals are the first step in the healing process. The ritual of attending a funeral service provides many benefits including:
Providing a social support system for the bereaved
Helping the bereaved understand death is final and that death is part of life
Integrating the bereaved back into the community
Easing the transition to a new life after the death of a loved one
Providing a safe haven for embracing and expressing pain
Reaffirming one's relationship with the person that died
Providing a time to say good-by
It is possible to have a full funeral service even for those choosing cremation. The importance of the ritual is in providing a social gathering to help the bereaved begin the healing process.
Every family is different, and not everyone wants the same type of funeral. Funeral practices are influenced by religious and cultural tradition, cost and personal preferences. These factors help determine whether the funeral will be elaborate or simple, public or private, religious or secular, and where it will be held. They also influence whether the body will be present at the funeral, if there will be viewing or visitation, and if so, whether the casket will be open or closed, and whether the remains will be buried or cremated. Viewing is part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialist believe that viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death.
Embalming is the funeral custom of cleansing and disinfecting bodies after death. As far back as the ancient Egyptians, people have used oils, herbs and special body preparations to help preserve the bodies of their dead. Yet no process or products have been devised to preserve a body in the grave indefinitely, and the Federal Trade Commission Funeral Rule prohibits funeral providers from telling consumers that it can be done. For example, funeral providers may not claim that either embalming or a particular type of caskets will preserve the body of the deceased for an unlimited time.
In practice since ancient Egypt, embalming is most often done by using chemicals substances. We use embalming today for two primary reasons--to allow adequate time between death and burial to observe social customs such as visitations and funeral services, and to prevent the spread of infection. Cosmetic work is often used for aesthetic reasons.
The federal Trade Commission has included statements about embalming in the Funeral Rule, which guides funeral service providers in offering services and products to consumers. The Funeral Rule statement on embalming requires funeral service providers to inform consumers that the law does not require embalming (unless in a specific special case when it does). The language the FTC requires says: "Except in certain special cases, embalming is not required by law. Embalming may be necessary, however, if you select certain funeral arrangements, such as a funeral with viewing. If you do not want embalming, you usually have the right to choose an arrangement that does not require you to pay for it, such as direct cremation or immediate burial.
As more people are choosing cremation, funeral service professionals are striving to give consumers a true sense of what their many options are for a funeral service. Often funeral directors find that people have a preconception of what their many options are for a funeral service. Often funeral directors find that people have a preconception that they have fewer choices for a ceremony when selecting cremation for themselves or a loved one. Therefore, they request direct cremation and deny the surviving friends and family an opportunity to honor them with a memorial service. In actuality, cremation is only part of the commemorative experience. In fact, cremation can actually increase you options when planning a funeral. Cremation gives people the flexibility to search for types of tributes that reflect the life being honored. But this doesn't mean that aspects of traditional funerals services have to be discarded. Even with cremation, a meaningful memorial that is personalized to reflect the life of the deceased include:
A visitation prior to the service
An open or closed casket
A ceremony at the funeral chapel, your place of worship or other special location
Participation by friends and family
Commonly, cremated remains are placed in an urn and committed to an indoor or outdoor mausoleum or columbarium; interred in a family burial plot; or included in a special urn garden. Cremation also gives families the option to scatter the remains. This can be done in a designated cemetery garden or at a place that was special to the person. Today, cremated remains can even become part of an ocean reef or made into diamonds.
We can assist you with the necessary information for a funeral or memorial service with a cremation. For more technical information about the cremation process, we encourage you to view information on-line at the National Funeral Directors Association.
Funeral Cost Questions
According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the average cost of a funeral as of July 2009 is $7,755. Does not include outer burial containers, cemetery costs or other third party charges such as flowers, burial clothing, or newspaper notices.
Funeral service is regulated by the Federal Trade Commission and state licensing boards. In most cases, the consumer should discuss problems with the funeral director first.d If the dispute cannot be solved by talking with the funeral director. The consumer may wish to contact the Funeral Service Consumer Assistance program. FSCAP provides information, mediates disputes, provides arbitration, and maintains a consumer guarantee fund for reimbursement of services rendered. ( To contact FSCAP, call 708-827-6337 or 800-662-7666).